Nosy Neighbors and Judgement after New RV and Truck Purchase

[llilith]

So, we bought a new Ram 1500 truck and a TT in the past two weeks. I've had two different neighbors come over and say things like "wow did you guys win the lottery" or "we want your jobs". This bugs me. Has anyone else experienced this after making their new RV purchase?

It's not like we even paid full retail for these items, we got a great trade in for our existing truck (which didn't have the towing capacity we wanted). I negotiated really good prices on both items. In fact, they were about 30k together, which we financed. In the scheme of things, it's not a big deal, since it only amounts to $180 more in payments. We both work full time and budget our money carefully. At full retail, it looks like we have 56k worth of equipment in the driveway now, but that's not the real story.

I almost feel guilty - like I should apologize for having these "luxury items". Especially when people make comments like I mentioned above.

Does anyone else have this issue after making this kind of purchase? I feel like people think it's frivolous and extravagant and that there is judgement all over the place - even from family and certainly from neighbors.

I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I do.

[mike837go]

When my kids were little, we called jealousy, "The Green Eyed Monster".


Your neighbors wish they could have the shiny new toy you just bought.


Ignore them and enjoy the life you have chosen to live!

[donellen30]

My neighbors are awesome people and would never think of saying anything like that. I'm sure your neighbors are just jealous.

I did have my boss' boss tell him once that I must be overpaid because I purchased a Lexus SUV. The Lexus was used and I had traded in a paid off vehicle for it, so the payment was LOW.

Who cares what people think. You only have one life to live. Enjoy it.

[TommyAjax]

Just say "Yes"...none of their business how you paid for it and it makes for good gossip.

[JFlightRisk]

Just tell 'em you spent your kid's inheritance money.....I bet they'll change the conversation.

[Camper_bob]

You nailed it in the last line; "I know I shouldn't care what others think ..."

A lot of people don't understand the realities behind what things cost. A lot of them don't understand budgeting, and A LOT of them don't understand what "hard work" and "saving money" and "living frugally" is. And a lot of people are just naturally judgy.

I've had a few friends make comments like that. And I simply tell them it's not as expensive or "extravagant" as they think. In the big scheme of things, it's really quite reasonable. How much do they spend on whatever they spend money on? I bet they spend more on "leisure" or "non-essentials" than they think they do. This is just how you've chosen to spend your time and money; none of their business. I work hard for my money, and I have all my life, how I choose to spend it is no one's business but mine and my wife's.

I also (only half jokingly) say things like "you only live once" and "you can't take it with you". But I really believe those things. Why suffer now (within reason of course) for some lofty cushy retirement that is NEVER going to happen (especially with the way the government is spending my retirement money) when I can live my life NOW, while I'm healthy enough to enjoy things? (it should be obvious that I'm fairly young; this is not necessarily a view for someone in their sunset years living on a fixed income, or maybe it is...)

Now, I'm not saying people shouldn't plan for the future. And I'm not saying people shouldn't save for retirement. I'm just saying that we only get one time around on this roller coaster, and I mean to make the most of my ride!

[TWP723]

Originally Posted by llilith

So, we bought a new Ram 1500 truck and a TT in the past two weeks. I've had two different neighbors come over and say things like "wow did you guys win the lottery" or "we want your jobs". This bugs me. Has anyone else experienced this after making their new RV purchase?

It's not like we even paid full retail for these items, we got a great trade in for our existing truck (which didn't have the towing capacity we wanted). I negotiated really good prices on both items. In fact, they were about 30k together, which we financed. In the scheme of things, it's not a big deal, since it only amounts to $180 more in payments. We both work full time and budget our money carefully. At full retail, it looks like we have 56k worth of equipment in the driveway now, but that's not the real story.

I almost feel guilty - like I should apologize for having these "luxury items". Especially when people make comments like I mentioned above.

Does anyone else have this issue after making this kind of purchase? I feel like people think it's frivolous and extravagant and that there is judgement all over the place - even from family and certainly from neighbors.

I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I do.

My wife gets embarrassed all the time with her family over this as well. She made me keep my truck and camper a secret from everyone and to just let them "find out' on their own. Her co-workers called her Rockefeller after we bought her new truck then mine just a couple months later. Then...the trailer. It really is embarrassing in a way.

[llilith]

Originally Posted by JFlightRisk

Just tell 'em you spent your kid's inheritance money.....I bet they'll change the conversation.

I'm totally doing this!

You guys are right on the money (no pun intended) with your comments on this. Thank you for the reality check. It really is no one's business. And, all it really takes to have nice things is working hard and planning/budgeting well. We do both, and so YAY!!!

[JFlightRisk]

Good advice is yet just one of the services we all offer. Hope you're at ease!

[Camper_bob]

Something else that bothers me and is along the same vein:

Some of our friends think we "spend too much" on our "stuff". For example, when I buy something, I intend to KEEP it, so I buy the highest quality I can afford. I take care of it. I do the maintenance. I fix it when it's broken, and cry when it breaks. My belongings are not "commodities" to me.

Some of those friends who judge me for what I spend my money on don't take care of their belongings at all. It's just stuff to them to be replaced when they break it or wear it out, which happens faster because they don't take care of it. Oil changes get neglected, the cheapest tires get installed, things never get cleaned or washed, etc. And it's big stuff like houses and cars.

We may spend a little more than they do on what they may consider "non-essentials", but we plan to keep those things for a long time, and we want them to be nice, so we work hard to keep our things that way. It really bothers me when people say stuff like that and their 4 year old car looks like it needs to be scrapped, and their $200K house looks like it should be condemned ...

Sorry for the rant, but I stopped worrying what people like that think about what I buy a LONG time ago.

[Jagiven]

I think their opening line is just a way to start a conversation to see the new camper as they are intrigued. When we purchased our new HTT a few years back, I think everyone in the neighborhood had to stop by, and see it. After a while the novelty will wear off.

My parent’s always use the line “Just spending my kid’s inheritance.” My reply “it’s not my money, have fun!”

[Camper_bob]

Originally Posted by Jagiven

snip...

My parent’s always use the line “Just spending my kid’s inheritance.” My reply “it’s not my money, have fun!”

My dad says this all the time; my response: "SPEND IT UP POP! You earned it!"

[JFlightRisk]

"Some of our friends think we "spend too much" on our "stuff". For example, when I buy something, I intend to KEEP it, so I buy the highest quality I can afford. I take care of it. I do the maintenance. I fix it when it's broken, and cry when it breaks. My belongings are not "commodities" to me."
Couldn't agree more. Mower is a '97, snow blower is a '99, and DW is a '59!!

[Camper_bob]

Originally Posted by JFlightRisk

Couldn't agree more. Mower is a '97, snow blower is a '99, and DW is a '59!!

My wife's X-Terra is a 2006 and looks like it's maybe 3 years old; we'll keep it another 4 years before replacement (only 1 car payment at a time, and the X has been paid off for 4 years). When we had our boat, it was 6 or 8 years old and looked maybe 2 or 3; motor ran like a top (it had been paid for for years before we sold it because we had nowhere to use it near our new house). We plan to keep our trailer until our 10 month old son doesn't want to camp with us any more, and the truck that pulls it will hopefully be his one day.

We mow our grass weekly, we vacuum our floor 3x a week, we clean the dishes up every night, we wash our cars when they're dirty and keep up with their maintenance, same for the trailer ... the list goes on and on. This is what we do, it's called "life"; I just cannot comprehend why some of my friends don't do the same?

I just thought of an appropriate response (in my situation) to OP's neighbors' comments: "Well, I dropped the cable/satellite dish, and now I can afford all this!"

[mothernaturesson]

You sound like modest people, not the type to "flaunt it". I totally understand that. I'm very private especially when it comes to income and personal finances, just the way I was raised. That being said I agree with other posters, they are just breaking the ice and or a little jealous. As long as they don't ask for a loan don't let it bother you!

[Camping Couple]

I would just tell them you won a small lottery and leave it at that. It's none of their business. I can't stand nosy neighbors. We have a couple of them in out neighborhood and they always are watching everything anybody does and they aren't subtle about it either. They will stare. I caught one of them looking in our windows after our house was built. I told them the next time I see someone looking into our home, I wasn't going to be very friendly about it.

[Hattie]

As one of just two truck owners on our street - our neighbors were very supportive of our recent purchase ... maybe because we help ferry their oversized purchases (e.g., televisions) home, get the large items for the block party, or offer to include their hazardous waste when going to the drop-off center!

[FPM III]

My DW's uncle was a terrific guy, but had one annoying flaw. Every time we purchased something he thought was expensive, he'd always ask me:

"How much did that cost, not being nosy?"

To which I'd always reply:

"Too much."

Then I'd change the conversation to another subject.

[tnchuck100]

In circumstances such as these I have been confronted with "Man, I wish I had your money!". To which I respond "You don't understand. You can have money or you can have this. But not both!"

That usually ends the topic.

[Jagiven]

Originally Posted by Camper_bob

I just thought of an appropriate response (in my situation) to OP's neighbors' comments: "Well, I dropped the cable/satellite dish, and now I can afford all this!"

Isn't that the truth, you could also add "I dropped my cell coverage", which is approaching a small car payment in itself.