Little old lady
A mysterious murder made the headlines in a small town, and just about the entire population and every journalist within a 100-mile-radius showed up for the first day of the trial.
A Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a 92-year-old woman awesome old lady by the name of Gladys Jones.
The big-time lawyer approached little old Gladys with his hands resting on his belly.
“Mrs. Jones,” the lawyer began, leaning over the stand so Gladys could smell onion on his breath. “Do you know me?”
“Why, yes,” Gladys responded without skipping a beat. “I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two bit paper pusher. So, YES. I know you.”
Everyone in the courtroom just sat there with their mouths hanging open.
But Gladys wasn’t done. Just wait for it!!
The lawyer was STUNNED. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed his big bloated finger in the direction of the other lawyer in the room.
“Mrs. Jones,” he asked. “Do you know the defense attorney?”
Again, Gladys replied without missing a beat. “Why, yes, I do! I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He’s lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state! Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife, by the way. So, yes. I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly DIED.
The judge intervened at that point, asking both counselors to approach the bench. In a VERY quiet voice, he said:
“If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to electric chair!!”
2013 Jayco Jayflight Swift 264BH
2002 Yukon 5.3L Vortex w/tow package
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.