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Old 06-20-2016, 09:30 PM   #1
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Location: Saskatoon Sask Canada
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Marriage/Tech Support

A young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's loving advice was hilarious and genius!

The query:

Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.Conversation8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!Virus 10.0

2004 Chev Silverado Duramax optioned past the max. 2009 Jayco Eagle 308 RLS 765 watts of solar, 6-6 volt batteries (696 amp hour), 2000 watt (4000 surge) whole house inverter.
140 days boondocking in 2016
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Old 06-21-2016, 06:00 AM   #2
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That,, was priceless!


Joe Hinson
2010 Jayco Quest G2(SOLD)
2014 Jayco Eagle 33.5RETS
2007 Ram 2500 5.9L Cummins(SOLD)
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Old 06-21-2016, 06:10 AM   #3
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Good laugh, thanks Seann45.

Would suggest an "anniversary endless loop" app.
2010 Jayco Feather Sport 22'6" DrawTite,12,000 lbs.
2011 Ford F-150 XLT SCab 4x4 Tow Package
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Old 06-22-2016, 10:56 AM   #4
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That is hilarious! The DW and I have been married so long I guess we started on a Tandy using MS/DOS, I know I've received lots of kicks in the colon and plenty of back slashes!!
Tom & Kat 36 Years strong!
2001 Tundra SR5 I Force V-8
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