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More bagpipe jokes. See what you started?
Q. What do bagpipers use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
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Q. How do you know if a bagpipe band is at your front door?
A. No one knows when to come in.
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Q. Why did the bagpiper get mad at the drummer?
A. He moved a drone and wouldn't tell him which one.
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If you took all the bagpipers in the world and laid them end to end-- it would be a good idea.
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Q. What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A start.
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Q. If you drop a bagpipe and a watermelon off a tall building, which will hit the ground first?
A. Who cares?
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Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. To get away from the sound.
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Tom: "Hey, Buddy. How late does the bagpipe band play?"
Buddy: "Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."
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Q. Why do bagpipers always walk when they play?
A. Moving targets are harder to hit.
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Q. What does a bagpiper wear under his kilt?
A. Shoes and socks.
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Q. Why do they call it a "kilt"?
A. Because a lot of people got kilt when they called it a skirt.
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Q. What's one thing you never hear people say?
A. Oh, that's the bagpipe player's Porsche.
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Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?
A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you, get off of my cloud!", while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"
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Q. What's the definition of "optimism"
A. A bagpiper with a beeper.
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Q. What's the difference between a bagpiper and a frog?
A. The frog might be getting a gig. (Some South Florida Humor)
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ANCIENT PIPING JOKE: The lads are marching into battle, with the piper playing away like mad.............The enemy's arrows, swords and spears are creating bloody slaughter all through the Irish ranks................Ten men down, and the piper plays on................Twenty men down, and still the pipes ring out.
Finally fifty men have fallen, and the chieftain says to the piper, "For heaven's sake, can you not play something they like?"
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Q. The uilleann pipes are the only instrument declared safe by the National Transportation and Safety Board (NTSB) Why???
A. They have seat belts and an air bag.
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Man walks into a session with an octopus and declares that his critter can play any instrument in the room and $50 backs up his outrageous claim.
So the fiddler hands over the fiddle, the octopus picks it up and plays beautifully, $50 to the octopus. Same for the drums, the guitar and banjo....
Then the piper declares he is sure to meet the bet and come out on top. So he hands over his pipes and the octopus turns them first one way then the other, and not a sound comes out of it. The owner looks little nervous and asks the octopus what’s wrong.
"Play it? I'm still trying to get her out of these pajamas!!!!!!!!!"
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At a solemn memorial service for a pipe band drummer, the piper approached the casket preparing to play. Just as he blew up his bag and prepared to strike in, the funeral director rushed up to the casket, hands in air, crying, "Stop, stop!"
The funeral director then gently closed the casket and, turning to the astonished piper, said, "Now you can play. The drummer gave specific instructions that the casket lid had to be closed before you started."
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Jeannie
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