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02-12-2017, 05:45 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,004
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Shipwrecked!
One day a man decided to retire...He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the
time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
Afterabout four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks,"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing,"he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman."On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that
to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned. "Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour."
So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.
Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually,"It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down."
"Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."
"Oh it's not coconut juice,"winks the woman. "I have a still.. How would you like a
Tropical Spritz?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing,"he muses."What's next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned,
she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,"We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around?She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing.
"You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You've built a Golf Course?"
__________________
Murff
2015 White Hawk 20MRB (It's last year)
2017 F150 2.7 Eco Boost 3.73 Gears
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02-12-2017, 05:53 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: FL
Posts: 11,281
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__________________
Sherm & Terry w/rescue Eydie (min Schnauzer) & Charley (std Poodle)
SOLD:2015 Jay Flight 27RLS, GY Endurance (E), Days: 102 '15, 90 '16, 80 '17, 161 '18, 365+ '20
SOLD: 2006 Ford F350 PSD, 4WD, CC, LB, SRW, Camper pkg., 375,000mi
Full timing: Some will think you're crazy, some will be envious, just enjoy the freedom!
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02-12-2017, 08:45 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 3,198
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Love these jokes!!
__________________
2012 Eagle 320 RLDS
2017 Ford F-250 FX4 Crew STX 6.2l
3.73 E-locker
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02-18-2017, 06:00 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Missouri City, The Republic of Texas
Posts: 5,063
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Not being a golfer, I don't get it.
__________________
Cheers,
T_
2013 F-350 CC SB 2WD 6.7PS
2013 Eagle Premier 351 RLTS
-SOLD- 2012 X23B
-SOLD- 2003 Ford Expedition 5.4, Bilstein shocks
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02-18-2017, 08:13 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 3,198
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHorse1
Not being a golfer, I don't get it.
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The woman obviously is very adept at building things with what the island has to offer. Then she asks him when was the last time he "played around". He took as "played a round of golf" and assumed she built a golf course. I can't explain it any better.
__________________
2012 Eagle 320 RLDS
2017 Ford F-250 FX4 Crew STX 6.2l
3.73 E-locker
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02-18-2017, 08:24 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,872
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Lol
The views expressed may not be mine in five minutes.
__________________
2017 JayFlight 21QB
2021 Ford F150 SCrew 3.5 Eco, 157”, 3.55, Tow Pkg
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02-19-2017, 04:06 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Way down here........FL
Posts: 2,097
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That was good......lol
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02-19-2017, 08:54 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Missouri City, The Republic of Texas
Posts: 5,063
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TCNashville
The woman obviously is very adept at building things with what the island has to offer. Then she asks him when was the last time he "played around". He took as "played a round of golf" and assumed she built a golf course. I can't explain it any better.
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TCNash, was jus kidding.
__________________
Cheers,
T_
2013 F-350 CC SB 2WD 6.7PS
2013 Eagle Premier 351 RLTS
-SOLD- 2012 X23B
-SOLD- 2003 Ford Expedition 5.4, Bilstein shocks
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02-19-2017, 09:17 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 3,198
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedHorse1
TCNash, was jus kidding.
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I knew that, I was just using your quote to explain it to the "junior" members. lol
__________________
2012 Eagle 320 RLDS
2017 Ford F-250 FX4 Crew STX 6.2l
3.73 E-locker
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