Save a marriage. (Backing Up a Trailer)

[mike837go]

We have it worked out pretty well.


She tells me where the trailer should wind up. She is quite good at finding a near level place.


I do the backing and re-trying.


All directions from her are hand signals of which direction the back end of the TT should go. "Left" and "Right" have no meaning when each may be facing in different directions.


I trust her eyes and judgment. She trusts me (mostly) not to break her truck. Take it slow and easy.


Then I lay a level on the rear bumper of the trailer (very often bubble is centered)and give her a hug!

[Seann45]

What is the big deal??? I RV solo.. I back in solo.. Never had a problem in 20 years.. IF the GF does go with me she just sits in the passenger seat while I back in..

[mohok1]

What works for me is I watch the left side and have the wife watching the right side. She stands off to my right up front so I have her visually in sight. Just check and see how far back you can go before you start to back in. Of course I mastered my backing skills on the farm as a kid.

[DebKen]

I just read an article on backing up and this quote sounds like it would be very helpful:
GET ORIENTED-In the moment it can be super confusing which way to turn your steering wheel to move the trailer the direction you want. One bit of feedback I received that was super helpful was to place your hand on the bottom of the steering wheel then turn the steering wheel in the direction you want the trailer to go. So if you want the trailer to go left, push the steering wheel left (with your hand on the bottom of the steering wheel.)

[JLSheldon]

My wife and I use a combination of cell phone (her phone to the truck's bluetooth) and/or hand signals. She says "Driver or passenger" and points to what side the back of the trailer needs to go and holds up a closed fist to signal stop.

As an airline pilot the hand signals are pretty similar to the ones used by the rampers at work when they park us so it helps I use them frequently and the reason I suggested we use them.

We tried walkie talkies but she wouldn't press the "TALK" button down long enough before speaking and I would only hear the static of her clicking the button and miss whatever she was saying.

I've found it's much easier to just use the mirrors rather than look over my shoulder. Looking over my shoulder gets me confused as to which direction the steering wheel needs to go.

[ctbailey]

These have been all great responses. My preference is first the "lone wolf" approach, where she and the girls (DD's 3 and 6 year olds) all stay in the cab with me, after I've scoped the site. It just comes with practice and experience.

My dad always told me to figure out how to do it (whatever) on your own, because the DW will usually have her hands full with the kids.

My next preferred is If it's dark I'll have DW spot and its limited to hand signals only for stop, or she points with an index finger where the tail of trailer needs to go, and then she uses two hands and closes them slowly to indicate when to stop pushing back.


Craig Bailey
New England
2007 Chevy 2500HD crew
2015 Jayco Jayflight 32BHDS

[nma33]

When I towed a TT we kept it very simple, DW would just direct me where the TT had to go, I would decide and execute on how it got there. Now with the MH DW stands behind, directs me with large motions since I am looking at her in the back up monitor. We can get into anywhere that we physically fit. This system works for us. Good luck in you marriage saving efforts!

[Camper_bob]

Forgot to mention: We tried the radios for a while when we first started out. But since I would forget them if we didn't leave them in the truck, that's what I did. Second time out, we had dead batteries. Replaced them real quick, and got through the process. Third time out, dead batteries again. I guess they just can't handle sitting in the hot truck for a month. She also had the bad habit of not giving the radio a second to transmit before she started speaking, so all I would hear is a click on my end. I tried to train her how to use them, but it didn't take.

Cell phones usually don't work where we are, so that's a no go.

We've stayed many places where an RV park staffer escorts us to our site and spots/guides me into the site. DW LOVES this; she just sits in the passenger seat those times.

We have our process down pretty good now though. We have only 2 difficulties: 1) She doesn't seem to think staying in sight of my mirrors is important, so we've had a few times where I'm just sitting there waiting on her to appear again, and she's waiting for me to keep going. 2) She doesn't understand the hand motions of go/stop. We've worked it out that as I get close to something, she begins with her hands spread apart and brings them closer as I get to where I need to stop, when they come together, I stop. She thinks the space between her hands needs to represent actual distance, instead of just a representation of how far I have until I need to stop! So she'll typically just wave me on with her fingers until I need to stop, then she puts both hands up, palms out, I stop. If I don't, she yells "STOP!" (my windows are always open).

We do okay now though. She still hasn't let me hit anything (yet, knock on wood)!

As far as saving the marriage, just come up with a system that works for YOU and go with it. If that means one of you has to walk away for a few minutes and leave the other alone for a bit, then so be it.

If you're going solo, the GOAL becomes VERY important. And DON'T FORGET TO LOOK UP!

[bankr63]

After years of trying the hand signal shouting thing we needed a new solution. DW never seemed to get the "If I you can't see me in the mirror, I can't see you..." We do agree that her role is to stop me from hitting obstructions. She is responsible for the TT, I am responsible for the TV (my fenders are still unblemished, but there have been some close calls).


We finally invested $30 in a decent set of walkie talkies; Motorola, but pink, so they were heavily discounted. This past year has been much easier. If she transmits too quick, I stop, and broadcast "say again". She quickly learned to wait, and then hold the transmit a little longer. But now she can walk around wherever she wants to check angles and I'm okay with not having her in sight. I do still GOAL once or twice each time to make sure I'm putting it where we want it. I am responsible for the "line" I take, and will try a new approach when necessary.


As the talkies are pink they are her toy, and she always remembers to turn them off when done, so no dead batteries yet. They live in the console of the truck full time, so never forgotten.

[norty1]

GOAL = Get Out and Look.


For those that are going to ask.

[bansai]

My biggest fear getting my TT was backing. My wife and I use very simple hand signals, she points which direction the back of the TT needs to go and I make it happen. We go *slow* and by some miracle it's working perfectly.

Best advise I got when I started was to put one hand on the steering wheel, at the bottom of the wheel. If you need the back of the trailer to go left, you move that hand on the wheel to the left... and vice versa. It's ALL you have to remember.

I've also heard walkie talkies and a back up camera have saved more than one marriage.

[Raspberry]

Lots of great advice on here, but I'll add my helpful thoughts.

I'm the wife and I found it easier to do the backing up as standing outside telling husband where to go was confusing for me. Left, right Whos side etc.

Even then sometimes husband would yell left and it was to the wrong persons left.


3 years of this and finally this summer I had a new thought. Forget the left and right stuff.

I put my hands at the bottom of the wheel and told husband to yell either DRIVER or PASSENGER. With hands at the bottom and he yells DRIVER my hand turns wheel to driver side and the trailer swings to driver side, he yells PASSENGER my hand turns wheel to passenger side and the trailer turns to the passenger side.

With this new idea of yell only DRIVER or PASSENGER we have cut the time it takes down by 75% as well as we are still married after backing up.

[Force]

Originally Posted by Jhowemca

Best advise I've gotten "just have her watch the trailer and shout out if you're about to hit something".

That's all we do!

The driver should be in charge of the driving, not the spotter trying to drive from outside.

That advise has saved many camping trips for us!

Works for us! When it comes time to back up the trailer she says "put it right there", and so I do. The only job she has is to make sure I don't back into a tree. And even then, with the camera on our trailer, that isn't too big a concern either (knocks on wood)

When the day comes my wife has to tell me which way to turn the steering wheel I'll just return my man card and hand her the truck keys

[need-a-vacation]

Well, I hate to admit this, but we all just gave the wrong advice....

Pull through site- all issues solved!!! Lol

Ok, one thing I didn't post was when we pull up to our site, I always stop a little short of it, and get out and walk the site as others have mentioned. As I did post, then my wife's job to to keep me from hitting things, and if needed let me know which direction the trailer needs to go.

[abarkl]

Use the Trucker's plan when backing; G.O.A.L. Get Out And Look.

[RVhiker]

Originally Posted by Jhowemca

Best advise I've gotten "just have her watch the trailer and shout out if you're about to hit something".

That's all we do!

The driver should be in charge of the driving, not the spotter trying to drive from outside.

That advise has saved many camping trips for us!

This ^^^^^^^.
Also, cast aside any need to have the back in procedure be perfect. My only goals are 1) to get backed in without destroying anything, and 2) to get the trailer positioned where I want it to be. If it is a sloppy back in, or takes a while, AND we accomplish those two goals, we have succeeded.

[TWP723]

She's always right and it's my fault. No matter what happens...my fault.

[Jagiven]

Originally Posted by Northern Jay

Some good points here. SWMBO and I discussed before we bought our TT. She had some experience guiding our Northern Lite into some tight spaces as well.
Our method is to pull up and walk the campsite first to identify possible issues and where we want the TT to be parked. I then jump in truck and with windows down do the basic approach to the site and start to back in. She stays in my mirrors and directs me with ARM signals as I am 40+ ft from where she is, where she wants the BACK of the TT to go. If she disappears from my sight I STOP. We have never raised voices or had a fight about parking.

Most times we get to where we want TT on the first shot. After that it is decide how many Lego's to get level and we set them right beside the tires with a chock at the back. I pull ahead, she slides the Legos into place and then I back up to the chock. Double check level and we be done. Usally under 5 min. Then disconnect and grab a bevview. ..
Happy Camping

At CGs I pretty much follow Jays method. Get out check the site, discuss where to stop, etc. Typically all hand commands. If I cannot see her, I stop. If we pull in late, she uses a flashlight to signal.

At home is a whole different story! We use our phones. Other than at the initial start to back in, I never see my helper. I have a longer driveway to backup maybe 100 feet, its up hill for the first third. Level for the next third, and down hill the last third. One side of the driveway we have a 6' privacy fence all the way down the driveway line. Often I have to pull in the driver's side mirror, so I can swing the nose around and not hit the fence. We have retaining walls on both sides, in the front, the driveway maybe 10-11 feet wide total. When backing up off the street, one retaining wall can never be seen. Middle third our house comes right up to the driveway, maybe 11-12 feet wide, but we have a step out the side door, which I cannot see at all when backing in, as the backend of the truck is aimed up to the sky. The back third is a piece of cake, the drive opens up nice and wide, but the TV is still never clears the house, and I like to push the TT over all they way so I can access my 3 car garage that is back there too. 4 Low is a great tool to back into my drive, she just creeps right back, I just apply brake, to stop, never touch the throttle.

This is all done by voice. Typical commands are we are getting to close to our house or the fence. Unless the street is free of parked cars (rarely is that the case), I have to pull up 3 times to straighten out. I scrub a lot of tread off my front tires on my TV.

[RAurand]

My wife and kids just tell me which way the back of the trailer needs to go and stop me if I am going to hit anything. Works great. No yelling, We just use hand motions.

[Crabman]

Marriage saved by keeping the wife in the truck and sending one of my sons to be the spotter. But someday she will have to do the dirty deed.