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06-15-2018, 04:47 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Longwood
Posts: 1,263
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Camping Helper or Nosy Nate?
...or, when is it ok to offer help?
A few years back I was trying to back my popup into a tight spot when another camper jumped out of his chair to help me - and confidently taking his confident advice I promptly backed my rig into a tree causing some damage. Over the years I’ve learned to accept such advice with a grain of salt and usually, and politely, decline most help, preferring to learn on my own and do it myself. There is a risk, of course, either way.
Yesterday, I was watching a guy trying to unhitch his camper for nearly an hour, but he never asked for help and I didn’t offer any. Nothing he was doing was dangerous so I declined to intervene.
Was I wrong?
__________________
2018 Jay Flight 29RLDS
2019 F250 FWD gasser
ΣΧ, UCF '78
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06-15-2018, 05:06 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Frederick
Posts: 261
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Camping Helper or Nosy Nate?
Sometime people feel embarrass to ask for held especially when their family is in around. I would treat it like giving first aid: 1. identifying yourself; 2. list your training and years of experiences; 3. then ask if they would like you to help.
__________________
Sombat family
2008 Toyota Sequoia Limited
2017 Jay Flight 28BHBE
mod: Dimming awning
Dimming Floor light
Shocks
Custom bike/kayak rack
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06-15-2018, 05:11 AM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Dallas
Posts: 4,281
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Is there a right or wrong? On one hand you helped by letting him learn on his own. On the other hand what goes around comes around. You may need help with something one day and not get it.
I justify helping people by 1) do they look like green horns, 2) are they just having a bad day and are just struggling or 3) the manner in which they are handling the situation and or lastly what am I helping them with.
I say there is not a right or wrong but there is having a cautious approach. If someone looks inoccent enough and really looks like they could use the help after a period of time I'll offer to help depending on what it is. Brand new truck and a brand new camper backing prolly would not be one of those instances, too much risk because you can't control what the driver does. The way I see it they should be able to back up or not own the camper. Anything else I'll probably lend a hand or offer direction.
Everybody has a bad day from time to time and a little help always goes a long way. What bothers me is when you do try to help or be nice and the response afterwards is the sound of crickets.
Don't study it, something told you not to help and it may have been one of those times you shouldn't have anyway. Next time you witness something you may jump in and help and feel better for it.
__________________
Tight Lines and accurate shots
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06-15-2018, 05:19 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Abingdon
Posts: 6,177
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I have to admit, I'm the type that doesn't ask nor want help. I like to decipher the problem until I figure it out. Sometimes I know what's wrong but can't seem to fix it, if that makes sense. Besides, my wife is the foreman when we camp!
__________________
2013 Jayco Eagle 328 RLTS
2021 Keystone Montana 3121RL
2013 F350 6.7L 4x4 CCLB
W/Air Lift air bags (front & rear)
Equal-I-Zer™ WDH & B&W Companion
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06-15-2018, 06:19 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 4,293
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If I see somebody having trouble and I think I have something to offer, I'll usually ask it they need help. If they decline, I'm happy to sit back and watch.
__________________
Willie
1998 Jayco Eagle 12 UDK
2008 Keystone Cougar 29FKS
Poking at a campfire with a stick is one of life's great satisfactions.
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06-15-2018, 06:19 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: anytown
Posts: 1,751
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We are of the school "neither a borrower nor a lender be", but will help in anyway we can if asked.
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06-15-2018, 06:41 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Silver Spring, MD
Posts: 1,795
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"Hey, do you need a hand"
If yes, ask what you can do to help. Perhaps suggest that you'll keep an eye on a blind spot, or suggest they turn the wheel the other way.
If no, smile and head back to your campsite.
Its pretty easy without being forceful or obnoxious.
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06-15-2018, 07:02 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Full Timer In Naples
Posts: 219
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The dealerships should help first timers to hook and unhook in the PDI part of the sale. I saw a new camper with a 20ft. tandem axle trailer back in didn't take the side torque out of the wheels and when he finally got it off the hitch it swung sideways 4 inches and almost took off his fingers. He did scrap the shins up good. Hard lesson learned.
__________________
2017 Ram 3500, Big Horn, 6.7, Crew, Long, DRW, Aisin, 4:10. Full timer in a Pinnacle
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06-15-2018, 07:15 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 857
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2008Seneca
We are of the school "neither a borrower nor a lender be", but will help in anyway we can if asked.
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X2
I stay out of parking situations. I will offer assistance in true crisis moments or if I have a tool and the ability to make a fix, I will do so, but I do not lend out my tools or borrow from others (unless they are or I am stuck). To be honest, I am afraid of touching our TT. Every time I do repair or maintenance work on it, I handle it with kid-gloves. Knowing that they are fragile junk, I really do not attempt to work on other people's trailers, nor do I offer too much advice about what to do.
If it's a consumable supply, I will offer it to help knowing that I am losing my supply of whatever it is. But that does not bother me. In fact, it makes me feel good if it serves or helps someone else in jam. If folks are obviously derelict and irresponsible in any way, I stay away. Most of the time, however, it is a a dad, a couple, or a family that just needs a little help with a fix or a supply of some sort. In those cases, I do not hesitate to offer help. I will also help if someone cannot get something hooked up properly, and they exhibit signs of defeat after trying for themselves for a while. But I do not immediately inquire. Struggle is a good thing in my book. It is how we learn. But being overwhelmed by a matter is different, and it is not the idea of vacation or camping; so if that is the case, and I have the means and/or ability to serve, I will offer.
I must admit, if I can help a mom or a dad who are trying to give their kids a nice camping time, I am more apt to offer. But I always try to gauge their receptivity and if the need for help is real and/or best. The best thing is watching a dad and/or mom working with a child to figure it out for themselves, especially when kids are being led into resourceful thinking and skill building. Another good one is watching a young dad dial things in for himself and his family. I also do tend to keep an eye on older folks in some situations to be sure that they are okay. Lots of times the "help" is just being friendly and sharing common struggles with a neighbor, but that usually comes after they have resolved their situation.
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06-15-2018, 08:20 AM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Muskegon
Posts: 804
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I haul a trailer, and I operate a sailboat. I've found that offering and accepting help from strangers when parking or docking is a real minefield.
Experience has taught me to avoid giving or taking help unless absolutely necessary.
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06-15-2018, 08:23 AM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 9,736
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I usually wait a good bit. If they look like they are still having issues after a while, I will offer a hand.
More than once it has been a newby. More than once it is someone who is not mechanically inclined and not sure what to do.
Last campout last year, a older gentlemen parked his PU across from us, had his grandson with him, my son's age. I noticed him trying to light his refrigerator, and it was taking a bit. I left for some reason in the truck, when I came back 15-30 minutes later he was still working on lighting the frig. I sat by the fire for another 15 minutes or so. I then went over and asked if he needed any assistance. After a few moments talking, I figured it was a spiderweb in the burner assembly. grabbed the air compressor, and blow it out. It then lite. He had been trying to light it for more than an hour.
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06-15-2018, 08:51 AM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 719
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We have been camping (tent/travel trailer/5vr) for over 40 years. We have been in tight spots (literally) and really needed assistance a few times. One time turns out the person helping us was also a truck driver & provided the necessary assistance - which included removing the top off the light post & asking people to move their vehicles so we could get the unit in. Campgrounds around Disneyland are very tight - when the slides are open you can actually reach out & touch the unit right next to you.
When we picked up the Jayco in 2016, was shown how to use the landing legs. On our 2nd campout, things were not working correctly & after about 30 minutes the person across from us came over, asked if we were having issues & we told him the unit was new. He showed us somethings (of course not in the manual) and made suggestions. Finally got the unit level.
Like others if we notice people struggling we will offer assistance - if they accept fine, if not, walk away.
__________________
Dennis & Donna Dohme
2016 36FBTS Pinnacle
2008 F450
USMC Veterans (both of us)
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06-15-2018, 08:58 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Sweetwater
Posts: 731
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I'll stay pretty clear unless something looks dangerous or something valuable is in jeopardy. Only then will I stay back and say "give a shout if you need anything!".
__________________
- Jeff
2017 Jay Flight 32BHDS
2006 GMC 2500HD Classic CC SB 4x4 6.6L Duramax/Allison
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06-15-2018, 10:45 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 2,324
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For us we like to watch and enjoy! In are case we can get into almost any spot.Its just the amount of time it takes.Could be 5 min or 45 never know lol!
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06-15-2018, 11:01 AM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Little Rock
Posts: 120
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I'm too new to be of much help, but will share a recent backing nightmare.
I was having a real hard time backing up because of the pad location. The neighbor did have to move his truck, and offered to help when he saw me struggling, but I needed to learn. Pretty sure all the neighbors were watching. I kept my cool and did it after about 20 minutes. I even had to do the re-group and come around again method.
Hard to explain, but there was a curve in the road in front of pad, so not much room to straighten out. Then I had to back TT up and swing left, up a slight hill. I could get the trailer almost where I needed, but the problem was the entrance to the pad was smaller up front than in back, with a concrete culvert ditch on one side and a railroad tie drop-off on the other. So because of the backing angle, my truck tires were about to get stuck in the drop-offs. Great camp site. But I will never rent spot #14 again.
I also worried the whole time that when I left, were the TT wheels going off into the ditch when making a left without much room forward for a wide turn. No problem getting out - and a waste of time worrying.
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06-15-2018, 11:50 AM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 240
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I am in the "If I want help I'll ask for it" camp and have accepted offered assistance reluctantly and with extreme caution. For that reason, in the event I do think I should offer assistance to someone, I tell them, "Feel free to say no - I don't always feel comfortable in accepting help myself, so I won't be offended if you decline."
__________________
2001 Dutch Star DSDP 4095 (sold)
2007 Eagle 291 RLTS (trade-in)
2017 Eagle HT 27.5 RLTS
2011 Chevy 2500HD Duramax Crew Cab 4WD
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06-15-2018, 12:32 PM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Brunswick
Posts: 491
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John from Central Florida
Yesterday, I was watching a guy trying to unhitch his camper for nearly an hour, but he never asked for help and I didn’t offer any. Nothing he was doing was dangerous so I declined to intervene.
Was I wrong?
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Struggling for an hour to unhitch, I think you should have offered some help. I would have offered help after about 5 minutes of him struggling.
I had someone jump out of their chair while backing into a site once. I was by myself. I didn't really need help as I had been in that site a half dozen times and our Motorhome had a backup camera, so I pretty much ignored him, but I did thank him when I got parked.
-Michael
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06-15-2018, 12:52 PM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Lee County
Posts: 204
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Central Florida, I agree with Michael.G, you should have helped, don’t let your fear of being rejected or your advice being ignored, stop you from lending a helping hand
__________________
Lee County, FL
2015 Greyhawk 31 DS
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06-15-2018, 04:56 PM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Walpole, NH
Posts: 367
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I believe in the “Pay It Forward” and what “Goes Around Comes Around”. The first time we went camping with our new to us camper, we had no clue what we were doing. As we were setting up, a very nice lady who is a widow, came over and gave us a lot of advice. We were very grateful and spent a lot of time visiting with her. We have kept in touch with her. She was out camping alone because she and her husband had camped for years. When he passed she bought a smaller camper and kept camping. Now when camping, if I see someone who looks like they might need a hand, I go over and ask if they want help. It is a good way to pay it forward and to meet new people. Sometimes people will accept and others will say they are all set.
__________________
TV 2013 RAM 1500 4x4 Tradesman W/5.7L Hemi 6spd auto w/3.55 rears
TT 2009 Jayco Jayflight G2 29BHS
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06-15-2018, 08:31 PM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Arizona City
Posts: 10,135
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Where we used to live thenext door neighbor bought a new Redwood. I helped them back it in. They went away for a week to Camping School. Came back and when I seen them I asked them if they needed help, I was told by the wife No I we went to school and we can do it by ourselves. So I sat back and watched. Very funny. About 3 times after that when they came home from a trip I made a bag of popcorn and put a chair out on the sidewalk and watched them and laughed my butt off. After they finally got it parked the man came over and told me that his wife was the worst person to ever try to back him up. Thought that was really funny. If I see somebody having a hard time I will go over and ask them if there is anything that I can do to help, if they so no then I leave .
__________________
2018 Jayco Jayfeather 27 RL, 2002 Ford excursion, v-10, 3:73 gears 4x4 mine. 2020 Buick Encore Hers, Retired Air Force, now Retired.
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