Jayco RV Owners Forum

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Old 08-14-2015, 03:12 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: whitehouse
Posts: 4
Guide to Living in an RV

So, I got a pretty good job, lost my mind, bought a RV and moved across the state to the land that God forgot, West Texas. I've never owned a RV, camped in a RV, or had anything to do with RVs. Now I live in one. I've had a lot of help and tips from friends and family on getting fixed up in the RV but some things you have to learn for yourself. The following is a guide I wrote from some personal experiences...

How To Take A Shower In Your RV:

Step 1: Turn on water at the facet and get it just right, turn off water at shower head.
Step 2: Get in shower
Step 3: Turn on water to wet yourself down.
Step 4: Scream and try frantically to turn the scalding hot water down.
Step 5: Finish wetting down and turn water off at shower head.
Step 6: Put towel around self and answer the door. Insure neighbor there are no little girls screaming in your RV.
Step 7: Get back in shower.
Step 8: Shampoo hair and start to soap up body.
Step 9: Turn on shower head to get soap out of your eyes.
Step 10: Scream and try frantically to turn the scalding hot water down, again.
Step 11: Soap up body.
(Forget trying to get to your calves and feet, unless you are a contortionist . If you drop the soap, you're not getting it back. The shower is just too small.)
Step 12: Put towel around self, again and answer the door, again. Tell neighbor he cannot search your RV.
Step 13: Get back in shower.
Step 14: Scream, curse and slap the shower head to get the lava to stop burning you alive.
Step 15: Rinse off all soap and shampoo
Step 16: Briefly enjoy the perfect temperature water.
Step 17: Scream, dance and try to fend off the water someone suddenly started pumping from Antartica to your RV.
Step 18: Fall out of shower trying keep from freezing like the bad guy in Terminator 2
Step 19: Get up turn off water.
Step 20: Put towel around self. Answer the door. Allow police officer to search the RV for screaming girl.
Step 21: Dry off. Get dressed and repeat daily.

Transport and Set Up of Your RV:

Step 1: Hook RV up to your truck. Remember to hook up turn signal/ battery charger, sway bars, chains, and emergency brake to truck.
Step 2: Pick up all outside chairs, floor mats, grills, ect... try to fit them somewhere in the RV
Step 3: Wish for a bigger RV
Step 4: Make sure slide out is in (If Applicable) and all inside furniture, dishes, and other object are ready for transport.
Step 5: Walk around RV looking for any open compartments, hoses, cables, ect
Step 6: Check tires on truck and RV. Fuel in the truck, ect...
(You are now ready to get on the road with your RV.)
Step 7: Leave for the RV park on the windiest day of the year. Extra Points if there is a tornado warning in effect.
Step 8: After going 50 miles down the road, pull over and lower the TV antenna on your RV
Step 9: Make sure you are driving into the wind. This effectively lowers your fuel usage to gallons per mile.
Step 10: Drive around a gas station 6 times.
Step 11: Try to line up the pump with your truck. Back up. Pull forward. Back up. Pull forward. Punch dash. Back up. Park.
Step 12: Buy 5 gallon fuel can. Fill it up. Pour it in your truck. Repeat until truck is full. Ignore laughing crowd.
Step 13: Wish for smaller RV
Step 14: Get to the RV park 4 hours later than planned. It's now dark
Step 15: Find the best spot available.
Step 16: Try to back your RV into the spot. Give up after 6 tries, or when you draw a crowd of 10 or more people watching you.
Step 17: Find a spot you can back into. Get it within 4 tries.
Step 18: Unhook the RV and all cables from the truck
Step 19: Get heart rate back down to normal after RV coasted back 10 inches.
Step 21: Level RV using the level on the side of the RV
Step 22: Go inside. Pull out all outside chairs, floor mats, grills, ect...
Step 23: Go back outside, try to level the RV again. Ignore the level on the side of the RV
Step 24: Go inside. Pick up all furniture, dishes, other objects that some tornado threw around inside the RV.
Step 25: Storm back out, walk away from the RV 50 feet, walk back, level the RV, walk 50 feet away, walk back, level... repeat 4 times until RV is level
Step 26: Politely decline the beer the drunk next door offers you
Step 27: Raise TV antenna
Step 28: Hook up Waste hose to RV. Try to pull sewer cap off. Bang it with a rock until you can turn it with your hand.
Step 29: Gag
Step 30: Smile and wave to the neighbor who chose that moment to dump his waste down the sewer. Hook up hose to sewer.
Step 31: Hook up fresh water hose. Turn it on. Turn it off. Get a towel and dry off. Tighten connections. Turn it on. Repeat 3 times.
Step 32: Try to plug in electrical cord.
Step 33: Yell, Throw rocks, Kick Trees
Step 34: Walk through the whole RV park looking for a 30 watt connection. Find one on the other side of the park.
Step 35: Ask the drunk for a beer. Chug it.
Step 36: Pack everything up. Unhook everything. Hook RV to truck.
Step 37: Pull RV over to 30 watt spot.
Step 38: Thank drunk for climbing in the tree to get your antenna. Throw it in the back of the truck. TV's overrated.
Step 39: Hook everything back up, Pull everything back out. Pick up the dishes, furniture, and other objects, again.
Step 40: Thank the new neighbor for informing you the park had 50 watt to 30 watt adapters.
Step 41: Find the drunk. Get another beer. Chug it.
Step 42: Level the RV
Step 43: Level the RV again.
Step 44: Give up. Go to bed.

Emptying The Waste Tanks On Your RV:

Step 1: Check waste hose to insure no holes or kinks
Step 2: Check to make sure waste hose is securely attached to the waste nozzle and sewer drain.
Step 3: Get on your hands and knees with your head beside the waste nozzle as that is the only way to reach the pull valves.
Step 4: Turn face away from waste nozzle and open the Black Tank valve.
Step 5: Jiggle the valve
Step 6: Tap on the waste nozzle.
Step 7: Go into the RV bathroom to see why nothing is flowing.
Step 8: Open toilet
Step 9: Gag
Step 10: Stick Broom handle down the toilet and stir.
Step 12: Get down on hands and knees and tap on the waste nozzle.
Step 13: Close Black Tank valve. Throw up. Curse. Yell. Throw up.
Step 14: Strip and wash all the waste off of you with a water hose.
Step 15: Throw up, again
Step 16: Patch the hole in the waste hose with duct tape. USE THE WHOLE ROLL.
Step 17: Insure the neighbor you are ok. Go put some clothes on.
Step 18: Get down on your hands and knees again. Open Black Tank Valve
Step 19: Wait for all the waste to go through the hose to the sewer. Close valve when empty.
Step 20: Open Grey Tank Valve.
Step 21: Run to sewer end of hose and try to stop it from spraying everywhere.
Step 22: Run to Grey Tank valve. Turn it off.
Step 23: Strip and wash off with a water hose, again.
Step 24: Ignore the grandma next door checking you out. Get dressed, again.
Step 25: Stack rocks on and around sewer end of waste hose
Step 26: Open Grey Tank valve.
Step 27: Wait for all the waste water to go through the hose to sewer. Close valve when empty.
Step 28: Go inside and take a shower. Use lots of soap.

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Old 08-14-2015, 03:29 PM   #2
Senior Member
mike837go's Avatar
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Campbell Hall
Posts: 2,837
For someone new to RV'ing you've got a whole lot of it down pat.

Except showering Step 21. Don't do it daily. Every other day of falsetto screaming is enough.

Every thing else is spot on!

TT 2015 19RD "TheJayco"
TV 2003 F-350 "Montblanc" - Housebroken chore truck

Sitting in The Cheap Seats.
And proud of it!
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Old 08-14-2015, 06:06 PM   #3
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Selah, Washington
Posts: 131

I am getting so many flashbacks from the same stuff that's happened to me. great job.
2011 Jayflight 23FB G2
2003 Chevy 1500 4x4
Wife Peggy and 2 Beagles and a rescue Cocker Spaniel
2007 Yamaha Grizzly 400 ATV and Yamaha 2000 watt Genny
Me/retired insurance claims and DW/retired RN.
"If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."-Red Green
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Old 08-14-2015, 06:52 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Black River Falls, Wi
Posts: 676
Can't wait to hear how next weekend goes for you. I'll have an extra brew on hand in case you're near us ��
2014 Eagle Premier 331RETS
2016 Silverado 3500 DuraMax/Allison
1975 Corvette & a couple ATV's
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Old 08-14-2015, 08:44 PM   #5
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Silver Spring, MD
Posts: 1,068
HA! I love it! Thankfully I haven't lived any of those steps... but I can sure imagine them!!!
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