Hunting Dispute Settled ~~ Alberta Style
A big city attorney went hunting in rural Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird but it landed in a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the attorney was climbing the fence, an elderly farmer drove up and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The litigator replied, "I just shot a duck and it landed on the other side of this fence and I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer, Peter says, "that's my property and you are not going over there!"
The now indignant lawyer tells the farmer, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in Canada and, if you don't let me get my duck, I will sue you and take everything you own!"
The old farmer smiles and says, "apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes here in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this one with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyers asks, "what's the 'Three Kick Rule?'"
The old farmer replies, "well, because the dispute happened on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on, back and forth, until one of us gives up."
The attorney quickly thinks about the proposed contest and decides he can probably beat the old codger. He agrees to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbs down from his tractor and walks up to the lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the litigator's groin dropping him to his knees.
His second kick to the lawyers midriff send the attorney's last meal gushing from his mouth. The attorney, now down on all fours, receives the farmer's third kick square to his rear end landing the lawyer face first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength, the attorney slowly manages to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he looks at the farmer and says, "okay, you old fart! Now it's my turn!!"
The old farmer looks at the farmer and smiles, "nah, I give up, you can have the duck!"
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