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Old 03-19-2014, 05:48 PM   #1
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Potato

Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.


Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'


Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho PU (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr.
and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.......

Are you ready for this?

Are you sure?

*

*

OK! Here it is!

*

A COMMONTATER


Are you sorry you wasted your time reading this?
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Old 03-19-2014, 06:35 PM   #2
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Well I coulda wasted time reading oil, tire and tow vehicle stuff . At least I have a story to share with Grandaughters
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:26 AM   #3
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A man received the following text from his neighbor:



I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.

I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.

In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.

I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.



The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.



A few moments later, a second text came in:



Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:00 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VicS1950 View Post
A man received the following text from his neighbor:



I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.

I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around.

In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.

I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.



The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.



A few moments later, a second text came in:



Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
oops
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Old 04-03-2014, 12:20 AM   #5
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Both were good.
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