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Old 04-07-2021, 01:42 PM   #1
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Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,013
Some Puns For Fun

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER THAT READ:

We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place."

On a Plumber's truck :
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts.";

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills."

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

And the best one for last:


Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

Murff
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Old 05-19-2021, 07:06 PM   #2
J R
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Pretty good jokes.
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Old 05-19-2021, 07:27 PM   #3
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Back in the day when I was in high school, we had a bakery across the street. Older couple that owned and operated it. He worked in the back making the goodies and she worked up front. Above the cash register was a sign that read...

The complaint manager is Helen Wait,
If you have a complaint,
Go to Helen Wait.
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Old 05-19-2021, 07:33 PM   #4
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Location: Connellsville
Posts: 22,719
Local funeral home ran a billboard for a while that said "We want to Urn your business".
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