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08-30-2018, 11:00 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 5,014
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The Lawyer
Lawyers ! And if you think lawyers don't have hearts, read the best lawyer story of all time...bar none.
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way worker paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The United Way guy opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh.. no, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?'
Murff
__________________
Murff
2015 White Hawk 20MRB (It's last year)
2017 F150 2.7 Eco Boost 3.73 Gears
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08-30-2018, 11:26 AM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: FL
Posts: 11,281
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__________________
Sherm & Terry w/rescue Eydie (min Schnauzer) & Charley (std Poodle)
SOLD:2015 Jay Flight 27RLS, GY Endurance (E), Days: 102 '15, 90 '16, 80 '17, 161 '18, 365+ '20
SOLD: 2006 Ford F350 PSD, 4WD, CC, LB, SRW, Camper pkg., 375,000mi
Full timing: Some will think you're crazy, some will be envious, just enjoy the freedom!
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08-30-2018, 06:18 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Palmetto
Posts: 1,057
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__________________
2017 Jayco 377rlbh (sold)
2021 Grand Design 351MR
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09-03-2018, 06:59 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Saskatoon Sask Canada
Posts: 10,726
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What do you call 10 lawyers at the bottom of the Salton Sea?
a good start.
What do you call 10 lawyers up to their necks in concrete?
Not enough concrete.
__________________
Seann
2004 Chev Silverado Duramax optioned past the max. 2009 Jayco Eagle 308 RLS 900watts of solar, Lithium batteries (400amp hour), 2000 watt (4000 surge) whole house inverter.
145days /2023 2022/151 2021[/COLOR]
93/2020,157/2019219/2018 206/2017,215/2016, 211/2015, 196/14, 247/13, 193/12
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09-04-2018, 05:19 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Greater Grand Rapids
Posts: 1,393
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I hear they're using lawyers now instead of lab rats to do AIDS research.
. . . I guess there are just some things a rat won't do! 
__________________
2013 Eagle 266RKS
2011 Ford F-150 w/3.5L Ecoboost & H.D. Tow Package
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09-04-2018, 04:25 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Saskatoon Sask Canada
Posts: 10,726
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Whats the difference between a dead lawyer on the road and a dead snake on the road?
Skid marks in front of the snake...
__________________
Seann
2004 Chev Silverado Duramax optioned past the max. 2009 Jayco Eagle 308 RLS 900watts of solar, Lithium batteries (400amp hour), 2000 watt (4000 surge) whole house inverter.
145days /2023 2022/151 2021[/COLOR]
93/2020,157/2019219/2018 206/2017,215/2016, 211/2015, 196/14, 247/13, 193/12
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09-09-2018, 09:55 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 113
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What's brown and black and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
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09-09-2018, 09:56 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 113
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Why do they bury lawyers 12 ft under?
'Cause deep down they're good people.
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09-09-2018, 09:57 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 113
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a bottom dwelling, scum sucking, slimy creature. The other is a fish.
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09-09-2018, 04:47 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: AZ, SSA (Squabbling States of America)
Posts: 1,432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seann45
What do you call 10 lawyers at the bottom of the Salton Sea?
a good start...
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Only ten? That's not even a good start. I thought it was water pollution.
''The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.'' From Billy Wigglestick's (Shakespeare's) Henry VI.
__________________
Jeannie
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09-11-2018, 10:44 AM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: McKinney
Posts: 387
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They are now using lawyers instead of lab rats for scientific experiments for 3 reasons:
1. There is more of them
2. You don't get as emotionally attached
3. There are some things even lab rats won't do
__________________
2016 WH 27DSRL
2017 F250 6.7L Diesel
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