Why Chemical Engineers don't write cookbooks!

[Rustybux]

How to make Chocolate Chip Cookies - Chemical Engineer Style!!!

1) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4) 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechnic aldehyde
8) 2 calcium carbonated-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein ovoids
9) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10) 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 10 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six and seven until the mixture is homogeneous.
To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300x600mm). Heat in a 460K oven for period of time that is in agreement with Frank and Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
In case you are not sure of some of the technical names, let me provide some of the tough terms translation...

gluten = flour
NaHCO3 = Sodium bicarbonate / baking powder
halite = salt
partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride = butter/margerine
C12H22O11 = sugar
methyl ether of protocatechnic aldehyde = vanilla essence
calcium carbonated-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein ovoids = eggs
theobroma cacao = cocoa
de-encapsulated legume meats = nuts
reactor vessel (reactor #1) = mixing bowl

[JFlightRisk]

Yummm!!

[mike837go]

Scary....


I understood too much. Should I be allowed back in a normal kitchen?

[mike837go]

What about software engineers and user manuals?


Oh, yeah... Anything printed by Microsoft!

[Tex1961]

A good friend of mine used to reply when asked how he was doing.. He would always say Vertical and ventilating.

When we would go in the office late at night to do a systems upgrade, we would always find things from other departments that our department needed.. His term for that was. Nocturnal covert asset reailocation.

[Iraqvet05]

lol...It would be much worse if the chemical compunds were written out as kekule structures.