Todays Clean Joke

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An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
 
The proprietor of a small village drugstore was called out one sleepy summer morning, leaving the establishment temporarily under the sole management of a very young, and very uneducated, clerk.
"Just answer the phone if it rings, Jim," instructed the proprietor.
The phone rang.
"Hello," said the clerk.
"Do you have streptomycin and aureomycin?" asked a voice at the other end.
The clerk scratched his head, then said, "Ma'am, when I said 'Hello' I told you everything I know."
 
A minister was at a diner having lunch when a friend from out of town sat at his table. They were eating and the friend said you do not seem to be doing well. The minister said I just don’t know what to do. Someone in the church stole my bicycle and I use it to go everywhere. I don’t know what to do.
The friend grinned and said, this Sunday give everyone the sermon on the Ten Commandments. When you get to “Thou shall not steal”. Lay it on them hard and whoever stole your bicycle will return your bicycle.
The next week, the friend came to the diner and sat with the minister. Did you get your bicycle back? The minister sadly said yes. So, the Thou shall not steal one worked?
The minister said no, when I got to “Thou shall not commit adultry”, I remembered where I left my bicycle!”
 

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