Journey with Confidence RV GPS App RV Trip Planner RV LIFE Campground Reviews RV Maintenance Take a Speed Test Free 7 Day Trial ×
Jayco RV Owners Forum
 


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 05-10-2020, 06:04 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
JohnWedell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: New York & Florida
Posts: 1,037
You Gotta Love Children

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?

Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.

'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?'

'Yes, that's right,' I told her.

'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.

'It sure is,' I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'

'And why not, darling?'

'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cottonwool, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.

'What have you got there, dear?'

With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY,GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT.
__________________
2022 RAM 3500 DRW, 4X4, 4.10, 6.4 Hemi, 50 Gal Gas, Curt A20 hitch, Tire Minder

Traded: 2018 RAM 3500 DRW, 4X4, 4.10, 6.4 Hemi, Curt A20 hitch, Tire Minder

2018 North Point 315rlts with most of the options.
JohnWedell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2020, 02:03 AM   #2
Senior Member
 
Destrtman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Alamogordo
Posts: 212
Thanks for brightening my day
__________________
Desertman Blossom and Duedrop + 2 dogs and 4 cats.
2015 Ram 3500 Drw Laramie 4 door 4x4 C&C max tow 37000 gcw 7500 lb airbags C&M flat bed Husky 25000 lb hitch 85 gal aux fuel.
2018 Seismic 4116.
1998 Jeep ZJ custom rock crawler normally in garage.
2017 Nissan Titan XD platinum reserve Cummins 18500 gcw.
1998 Prowler 2950 RKS.
Destrtman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2020, 08:49 AM   #3
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 126
That was great!
1carguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2020, 10:45 AM   #4
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ottawa, ON
Posts: 1,958
"and into the hole he goes..." I've got tears in my eyes from the laughter. I think I want that at my funeral too!
__________________
2011 Jayco X19H (purchased 2015)
2008 Jayco 1007 PUP (purchased new, traded for the X19)
2018 Nissan Titan Midnight Ed.
bankr63 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


» Featured Campgrounds

Reviews provided by

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3
Disclaimer:

This website is not affiliated with or endorsed by Jayco, Inc. or any of its affiliates. This is an independent, unofficial site.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright 2002-2016 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.