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Old 01-23-2017, 09:05 AM   #1
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Todays Clean Joke

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks.
If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up.
Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom & gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game.
The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
"Why are you crying?" the father asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous, and I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff. I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken," answered the pessimistic twin.
Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure.
"What are you so happy about?" he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"
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Old 01-23-2017, 09:16 AM   #2
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Funny, but "clean"?
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Old 01-25-2017, 08:51 AM   #3
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Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
... From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!
She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them."
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Old 01-25-2017, 10:34 AM   #4
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Lol , norty those were great can't Waite to pass them on.
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Old 01-25-2017, 10:40 AM   #5
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Good jokes
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Old 01-25-2017, 11:44 AM   #6
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I'm trying to make friends outside of this forum.
Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by the latest mod I've done to my RV, what type of hitch I have, who I'm going camping with and where next weekend.
I give them pictures of my tankless water heater, my new battery rack, the tile I put behind the sink and us sitting around the campfire.
I also listen to their conversations and give them a "thumbs up" and tell them I like them.

AND IT WORKS just like the Jayco Owners Forum!

I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.

[adapted from a Facebook joke]
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Old 01-27-2017, 07:09 AM   #7
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Grandma and Grandpa were visiting the kids overnight, when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet. He asked the son about using one of the pills, and the son said, "I don't think you should take one; they're very strong and very expensive."
"How much?", asked Grandpa.
"$10.00 a pill", answered the son.
"I don't care", said Grandpa, "I'd like to try one, and I'll leave the money under your pillow."
The next morning the son found $110.00 under his pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."
"I know," said Grandpa, "The extra $100.00 is from Grandma."
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Old 01-27-2017, 08:08 AM   #8
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That's not so clean Norty when you think about your parents! It's darn funny tho!
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Old 01-27-2017, 08:33 AM   #9
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[ Heard on an episode of Car Talk ]
An older gentlemen, who thought himself still quite young looking makes a dentist appointment.
In the waiting room he stares at the diploma and sees a name he recognizes!

"I think I went to school with him!" he mutters.
But once in the chair, he looks at the dentist and thinks to himself, "No, I must be mistaken.
The guy looks way too old to have gone to school with me!"

After a few minutes, it weighs on him and he finally asks "Are you Bob Smith?"
"Yes." the dentist replies.

"Were you at Townsville High School?"
"Yes." the dentist replies.


"Oh my goodness, you were in my class!"
There's a pause, a look and then the dentist says "Oh, what class did you teach?"
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Old 01-30-2017, 03:49 PM   #10
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A man had to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.
"That depends," said the salesman. "Let's see the cheapest model," he said. The clerk put the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed. "How does it work?" the customer asked.

"It doesn't work," the salesman replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"
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