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11-23-2017, 01:12 PM
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#21
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: oneonta ny
Posts: 534
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What did the bra say to the hat?.....I'll stay here with these two, you go on ahead.
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11-26-2017, 10:52 PM
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#22
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Clovis
Posts: 15
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Talking Frog
Old man is shuffling down the lane when he hears "psst! hey old man". Old man looks around doesn't see anyone so continues on his stroll. Again "psst! psst! hey, down here". Old many looks down and sees this frog that appears to be talking to him. "Pick me up" says the frog. "
I'm not really an ugly old frog but a beautiful princess trapped inside this frogs body because of a spell cast upon me by a wicked witch. Pick me up, kiss me to release me from this frogs body and I'll give you a night of ecstasy the likes of which you've never dreamed of before." Old man does pick up the frog but instead of giving it the kiss sticks the frog in his coat pocket and once again continues on his walk. "Hey old man, hey, hey, didn't you hear me? Kiss, beautiful princess, night of ecstasy? Old man stops and takes the frog out of his coat pocket. He looks at the frog and says, "Yea, I heard you. But at my age I'd rather have a talking frog." Returns the frog to his pocket and shuffles down the lane.
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12-05-2017, 09:11 AM
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#23
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Oklahoma panhandle
Posts: 562
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A lady in the assisted living home turning 105 years old caught the attention of the local TV station. A reporter was dispatched to interview the lady for a human-interest story.
The reporter asks the lady; “Too what do you attribute your longevity?”
The lady answered; “Eating healthy and exercise.”
“Have you ever been sick?” the reporter asks.
The lady answered; “yes”
“Well have you ever been bedridden?” the reporter then asks.
The old lady gave the reporter a puzzled look, giggled, and answered; “Gosh yes, and a few times in a buggy.”
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12-05-2017, 09:59 AM
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#24
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Missouri City, The Republic of Texas
Posts: 5,063
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He’ll be here all week, folks. Be sure to tip your waitress.
__________________
Cheers,
T_
2013 F-350 CC SB 2WD 6.7PS
2013 Eagle Premier 351 RLTS
-SOLD- 2012 X23B
-SOLD- 2003 Ford Expedition 5.4, Bilstein shocks
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02-23-2018, 09:42 AM
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#25
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Site Team
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: James Island, SC
Posts: 22,859
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Handsome Old Man
An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
He was in his mid-eighties. He was well-dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, and smelling slightly of a good after shave.
Seated at the bar was an elderly, real classy lady.
The sharp old gentleman walks over and sits along side of her. He orders a drink. He takes a sip. He slowly turns to her and says,
"So, tell me. Do I come here often?"
__________________
Moderator
2011- 351RLTS Eagle, MorRyde suspension/pin box,
2017- F350 6.7 PSD Lariat FX4,SRW, SB,CC
Hughes PWD SP-50A, TST TPMS
Gator roll-up bed cover
B&W Turnover ball, Companion Std hitch
Can't find what you're looking on JOF? Try Jayco Owners Forum Custom Google Search
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02-23-2018, 10:49 AM
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#26
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Missouri City, The Republic of Texas
Posts: 5,063
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Quote:
Originally Posted by norty1
Handsome Old Man
An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
He was in his mid-eighties. He was well-dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, and smelling slightly of a good after shave.
Seated at the bar was an elderly, real classy lady.
The sharp old gentleman walks over and sits along side of her. He orders a drink. He takes a sip. He slowly turns to her and says,
"So, tell me. Do I come here often?"
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I forget, did he pay for his drink?
__________________
Cheers,
T_
2013 F-350 CC SB 2WD 6.7PS
2013 Eagle Premier 351 RLTS
-SOLD- 2012 X23B
-SOLD- 2003 Ford Expedition 5.4, Bilstein shocks
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02-23-2018, 11:02 AM
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#27
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Missouri City, The Republic of Texas
Posts: 5,063
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An elderly couple was attending a local antique auto show, the Mr. carefully examining each one. When they came to a beautifully restored Ford Model A pickup. As he looked it over, she stood silently looking at it a radiant grin broke out on her face.
The owner noticing her expression was pleased and asked her if she liked his pride and joy. She enthusiastically replied, “oh, yes!” Then quietly murmured, “The first time I had sex was in a pickup just like this one.” She then gave a sigh and walked away. Her husband had been standing beside her and now wearing a confused scowl muttered, “I don’t remember ever owning a truck like this.”
__________________
Cheers,
T_
2013 F-350 CC SB 2WD 6.7PS
2013 Eagle Premier 351 RLTS
-SOLD- 2012 X23B
-SOLD- 2003 Ford Expedition 5.4, Bilstein shocks
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03-03-2018, 05:36 AM
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#28
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Site Team
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: James Island, SC
Posts: 22,859
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Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defence attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
__________________
Moderator
2011- 351RLTS Eagle, MorRyde suspension/pin box,
2017- F350 6.7 PSD Lariat FX4,SRW, SB,CC
Hughes PWD SP-50A, TST TPMS
Gator roll-up bed cover
B&W Turnover ball, Companion Std hitch
Can't find what you're looking on JOF? Try Jayco Owners Forum Custom Google Search
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03-06-2018, 11:30 AM
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#29
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Site Team
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: James Island, SC
Posts: 22,859
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I almost killed everyone camping this weekend!
__________________
Moderator
2011- 351RLTS Eagle, MorRyde suspension/pin box,
2017- F350 6.7 PSD Lariat FX4,SRW, SB,CC
Hughes PWD SP-50A, TST TPMS
Gator roll-up bed cover
B&W Turnover ball, Companion Std hitch
Can't find what you're looking on JOF? Try Jayco Owners Forum Custom Google Search
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03-06-2018, 11:43 AM
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#30
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Elizabethtown, PA
Posts: 1,560
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Where's the popcorn???
__________________
2004 Jay Feather 25E
2001 Ford Expedition 4X4 EB 5.4 3.55 rear
2004 Ford Expedition 4X4 EB 5.4 3.73 rear
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04-04-2018, 09:16 PM
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#31
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Palmetto
Posts: 1,057
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Why God Created Women. Cause hopes and dreams can't crush themself.
__________________
2017 Jayco 377rlbh (sold)
2021 Grand Design 351MR
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04-05-2018, 06:03 AM
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#32
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Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Guelph
Posts: 28
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I told my elderly mother that "WTF" stands for "Wow that's fantastic". i can't wait to start reading her emails.
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04-14-2018, 10:21 AM
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#33
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Palmetto
Posts: 1,057
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Do you have enough ammo.
__________________
2017 Jayco 377rlbh (sold)
2021 Grand Design 351MR
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04-15-2018, 08:35 AM
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#34
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Palmetto
Posts: 1,057
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krispy kreme
__________________
2017 Jayco 377rlbh (sold)
2021 Grand Design 351MR
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05-17-2018, 05:50 AM
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#35
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Site Team
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: James Island, SC
Posts: 22,859
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I was visiting my daughter last night, when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century" she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here use my iPad"
I can tell you this...that fly never knew what hit him!
__________________
Moderator
2011- 351RLTS Eagle, MorRyde suspension/pin box,
2017- F350 6.7 PSD Lariat FX4,SRW, SB,CC
Hughes PWD SP-50A, TST TPMS
Gator roll-up bed cover
B&W Turnover ball, Companion Std hitch
Can't find what you're looking on JOF? Try Jayco Owners Forum Custom Google Search
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05-17-2018, 09:48 AM
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#36
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,880
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Nothing like a bug-zapper on the back porch though....the sounds, flash of light, and smell is something to behold....works best in the deep south, but ok for Pennsylvania as well....though not as impressive as the bugs are much larger down there....except around the swamp of DC....there, the pests are enormous* - and they keep multiplying - a large infestation.....*
__________________
2012 Ford Expedition EL
2016 28BHBE, Elite and Thermal Packages.
Equal-i-zer 4-point Sway Control, Southwire 34930 Surge Guard 30A, Tire Minder TPMS A1A
(2) Yamaha EF2000iS Generators, Micro-Air EasyStart™ 364 (3-ton) Soft Start, Garmin RV 890, GoodYear Endurance ST225/75-15 Load Range E
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